There was a kid, couldn't be more than two, hanging over the back of his car seat, staring at me with his tiny little cuteness. I literally sat there dumbfounded for a moment, not sure what to do. The driver was looking straight ahead, the passenger on her phone.
Should I beep my horn to let them know? Try waving my hands to get their attention?
Fortunately, the passenger glanced back and saw him. I heard her yell "Sit back down!" in that authoritative adult voice and sure enough, that boy turned around and sat his rear down quick.
Now, I am sure that may of you are appalled at this observation. "Why wasn't she paying attention?" "Why wasn't he strapped in properly?" "Someone should call the cops on her for negligence!"
Before you get your panties in a wad, take a chill pill. I could honestly relate to that woman. I was so not passing judgment on her or or parenting skills in the least. Here's why:
My little brother was wild growing up. Before he got into school and they diagnosed him with ADHD, he was just "a wild-ass kid." He was really good at unbuckling himself from the car seat when he was a baby. Not even three yet and he had that crap figured out easy. My mom had no control over it; she would strap him in and once she got down the road, he was loose and jumping around in the back seat.
She was pulled by a cop once who saw him literally bouncing around all over the place back there with my older brother and I. The man gave her a hard time and at this point, with the three of us screaming and raising hell in the back, and this cop threatening her with tickets and social services, she had had it. She broke down crying. "What am I supposed to do? You take him then if you think you can do better! Watch!"
She buckles him back up and in seconds he is free and going ape-shit all over again.
At this point, the cop has no idea what to do. He kind of shakes his head and tells her to just be careful. What was a cop in the late eighties to do, anyway? What can you do with an escape artist?
She used to have to put a harness on him at the mall because he would run off and hide. Shit, we all did. Mom would be freaking out, trying desperately to find him,- while my older brother and I were not helping by fighting, screaming, whining, or also missing- and other parents would cluck their tongues at her. How could she lose one of her kids? Of course, once she started roping his ass in public like a cow, the head shaking didn't stop. How could she treat her kid like an animal? Poor woman couldn't win for losing.
The point I'm trying to make here, folks, is that as parents, we can't help the cards we are dealt. I have a couple wild ones myself and taking them anywhere is like a circus. The kind with the petting zoo where no one ever shovels the crap up and the air smells like a mixture of peanuts and poop.
So before you try to judge other parents you see in public who might be spanking an ass, yelling while the kid is crying, or trying desperately to figure out where their little terror is hiding, just think about how stressed out that parent might be or what got them to that point.
Or remember your own childhood. We were all little shits once that liked to test our parents in one way or another. And isn't it lovely when it comes full circle?
