There are plenty of problems we can easily see in another author's writing as we read them. It's catching these things in our own works that we may have a problem with. I am just as guilty as the next guy so don't be offended; I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in particular. I'm pointing fingers at EVERYONE. (he he)
When a story has more than six main characters, it's so easy for a reader to confuse them all. Especially if they have similar speech patterns, sense of humor, etc. Let's say you introduce Bob and Ron as good friends first thing in a story. You describe their physical differences at the beginning and go from there. Two chapters and a lot of dialogue or action or whatever from now, will I really remember which one is a redhead and which is a blonde? Which is tall and lanky and which is slightly shorter? Most likely not.
Now imagine that we have to try and remember this for multiple characters. I tend to introduce new characters smack dab in the middle of my stories so, yeah, now you have someone new to try to keep up with. So let's make this easy on the reader, shall we?
Remind us of what they look like. Remind us of their quirks. Is everyone in the room a blonde? Which one is the jokester? Which one cracks his knuckles constantly? This may seem like "well, duh" advice but like I said, it's easier to catch such things when reading someone else' story. When we read our own, we already have a mental picture of that particular character that immediately jumps to mind. We made them. We know them best. We can see every detail clearly. Our reader, however, may not.
An easy way to do this is to stop using a character's name so often. Referring to a character by name only becomes old fast. I see this a lot when I beta read and it kind of drives me nuts. Here is a little paragraph as an example of what I suggest not to do:
Ron knocked on the door with vigor. When Bob answered, they said their greetings quickly and moved to the kitchen. Bob made tea for them both and neither spoke as they stood leaning against the counter, blowing in their cups. Finally, Bob looked up.
"Should we get to it, then?"
Ron sipped slowly and said nothing. Bob continued to stare at Ron in earnest. After another moment of sipping, Ron met his gaze.
"Alright then, where's ya tax forms?" Ron asked.
Not bad, but it could be better. This is what I would do differently.
Ron knocked on the door with vigor, swatting the dark locks from his eyes as he did so. He cursed his long, curly hair and swore to himself that he'd see the barber before the day was out.
When Bob answered, they said their greetings quickly and moved to the kitchen. Bob made tea for them both and neither spoke as they stood leaning against the counter, blowing in their cups. Finally, the farmer looked up.
"Should we get to it, then?"
Ron sipped slowly and said nothing. His old school friend continued to stare at him in earnest. After another moment of sipping, the guest met the shorter man's gaze.
"Alright then, where's ya tax forms?" Ron asked.
Most of what I write has only a few main characters. One or two have about a dozen who pop in and out of the story. Either way, I like to reiterate certain things every once in a while not only for memory's sake but to keep the story more interesting. And though I use their names, I may not always need to for the reader to know who I'm talking about. Referring to someone as "the redhead" or "the vampire" for a few paragraphs is perfectly fine if they're the only redhead or vampire in that scene.
Again, pretty basic and obvious stuff but keep these things in mind when you're going over your first, second and third draft. Ron said, Bob said, Ron said, Bob said is not going to keep a reader interested for long. And which one was Ron again?
