My dislike and mistrust of people has heightened more and more these past few years. Which is probably why my paranoia about my kids has become more extreme. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not excessively extreme. I don't keep them in a bubble. But honestly, they really don't get out with other kids as much as they should.
My newest addition is a month old now and I recognize the changes in my attitude about things compared to how I was when the other three were infants. Before if someone wanted to hold my little girl, I'd pass her off and enjoy having a break for a minute. Now, I tend to hover and even if I step away, I'm back within a matter of minutes to check and make sure everything is okay.
I don't think I'm going to let her stay with any grandparents alone overnight until she's at least three months old. Why? Because what if she gets hysterical with her crying and no one can calm her? What if something happens and no one can reach me for some reason? These are the fun thoughts that plague me when it comes to my littlest one.
I'm more of a bitch now to my pediatricians about all of my kids when they are sick. When I see a new pediatrician, 75% of the time they are going to say something or do something that rubs me the wrong way or straight up pisses me off. Let's just be honest, I can't stand doctors anyway. I've seen many, many doctors in my life and I can count on one hand how many I actually liked. Two fingers, really.
Pediatricians tend to talk down to me and not really listen to the symptoms I'm describing. Or they ignore my kid while they examine them, which is a big no-no. Kids are usually afraid of doctors and dentists to some degree so they have to be reassured while they're being checked out. And ignoring them or me and rushing through an exam will put you right at the top of my shit list. And that's a long list, people.
The problem with my dislike of people in general is that it is affecting my kids. Two of my kids are not very social. In fact, one doesn't like to socialize with other kids in her class at all. She didn't speak to anyone her entire year in daycare, including the teachers to the point that for a while they thought she couldn't talk or had some kind of serious speech problem.
I don't take them out on playdates. Playdates mean that I have to know other parents. And I have no idea how to make friends with some couple just because they have kids. None of my friends that live in my area have kids. And just how the hell do you find friends for kids that aren't in daycare?
This is the puzzler, the conundrum that I have to figure out to assist my kids with making friends and working on their social skills. Because they really don't need to be people-haters like me. Not yet anyway.
My oldest is nine and she is about to go out to her first sleepover next weekend. Not counting grandparents or anyone blood related, this is her first time going to a party and spending the night with a friend. This is pretty sad on my part because I'm sure that I was much younger when I went to my first sleepover. I'm just weird about sending my kids to the house of someone I don't know. Hell, I rarely let them call their friends because I know that when kids talk, they hatch out elaborate plans to get their parents to let them spend the night over. I know because I did it a lot myself. I'd rather them come over first so I can see how the kid acts. How a kid treats your kid when it's just them and how they talk to you as an adult tells you a lot about their parents. I have had little kids get snappy and rude with me before. Um, no, you are not hanging out with my kid. Forget it.
I don't really like other people's kids. I don't really care for the parents either. I don't like other people attempting to raise my kids or telling me how to do it properly. I don't like playdates scheduled over the phone with people I don't know.
So the question is, is this just me or is this a part of getting older? Am I a special kind of anti-social, other-kids-suck parent or do we get a bit crazier about our kids as we age? I love my kids but this no-one-else-can-do-it-right-but-me thing can be exhausting at times.
As you know I don't plan to have children, but this is something that is one of the many reasons why I have decided not to have kids. Kids today are AWFUL (not yours, of course)! There are too many children around that are horrible influences and the thought of some snot nosed little brat influencing a child of mine to do something bad or stupid frustrates me. And you can't control what goes on in school either to prevent it from happening.
ReplyDeleteI know if I had kids we'd have play dates because we can stand each other. Sorry I don't! But I do hope that you find some parents that you like in your area, with kids that can reciprocate positive things to your beautiful girls.
I always think of my kids as little brats when they act up until I see other children in public. Then I realize that I'm not doing such a bad job after all!
ReplyDeleteYou do have kids, your furbabies!